


You Fit Right In My Arms

by Of_stars_and_moon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Basically three different years in Sirius' and Remus' life, Fluff, M/M, MWPP, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), POV Sirius Black, Post PoA, post azkaban, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 23:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_stars_and_moon/pseuds/Of_stars_and_moon
Summary: The two times Remus almost made Sirius cry and the one time he did





	You Fit Right In My Arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonylovespads](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonylovespads/gifts).



> Based on a textpost by the amazing Berra (incorrecthpjo on Tumblr)

1971, 

Sirius sat on his bed, knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. 

It was his second night at Hogwarts and he didn't know what to think. He had got a letter from his parents about how disappointed they were that he was sorted into Gryffindor. He hadn't thought his parents would mind so much about him not being sorted into Slytherin, but it turned out that he was wrong. 

Suddenly the curtains around him were pulled back and Remus was standing there. "James and Peter are in the common room. They were looking for you," he said, before sitting in front of Sirius, crossing his legs.

"Okay," Sirius mumbled. "I'll be there after sometime." 

"You are thinking about the letter, aren't you?" Remus questioned, concern in his eyes. 

Sirius gave a short nod. "It's just...I feel different from my family now, just because I am sorted into Gryffindor, I feel like they don't love me anymore...And even in Gryffindor, I feel like an outsider...It feels that being a Black I don't belong here...I feel like I don't belong anywhere." 

"Hey," Remus said softly, placing his hand on Sirius' knee. "You belong with us. We are your friends. We love you and care about you. And I am sure your family will come around." 

Sirius' throat felt choked with emotions. Even though he had known his new friends only for two days, he had developed a special place for them in his heart. He blinked against the sting of tears in his eyes and gave Remus a small smile. "Thanks, Remus." 

Remus returned the smile. "I will tell James and Peter that you will be there later, okay?" 

Sirius nodded as Remus got up and left the room. 

\----

1975, 

Sirius sat besides Remus on the rooftop, both huddled together. It was the last night before summer holidays. Tomorrow, Sirius would have to go back to Grimmauld Place, back to his parents who hated him, back to his brother who didn't even care for him anymore. 

He heaved a sigh, staring at nothing in particular.

"Upset about leaving tomorrow?" Remus asked, voice gentle. 

Sirius turned to his boyfriend, who was looking at him in concern, eyes reflecting the starlight. "I feel-" Sirius paused, searching for the right words, "No one in my family cares about me and I...I feel like I don't matter to anyone." 

"That's not true." Remus cupped the side of Sirius' face. "You matter to me. And to James and Peter. You know, you can go to James' home in the summer if things get too hard. His parents love you like their child. And you've always got us... You've got me." 

Sirius shut his eyes tightly and swallowed past the lump in his throat. He wanted to tell Remus how much this meant to him, how much Sirius loved him, but he didn't trust himself to speak, fearing that he might start crying because he had always felt that he doesn't deserve to be loved. But Remus shows him so much love that it sometimes makes Sirius' heart ache. 

He sniffed, rubbing his eyes and pressed his lips to Remus' in a deep kiss.

\----

1995, 

Sirius stood near a window in his room in the Grimmauld Place, a place he thought he would never come back again. The sound of the rain pelting on the window was increasing the throbbing pain in his head. 

There was a time when he used to love rain, when the sound of rain would be music to his ears, when the cold waves that the rain brought would make him feel relaxed. 

But now things were different. He was different. 

The sound of rain reminded him too much of Azkaban, of the sound of waves hitting the shore, of the chilling cold that gripped his bones before the dementors would come. 

There was a burst of thunder and he shivered, though he wasn't sure if it was because of the thunder or the memory.

He wasn't sure of anything these days, not sure of how to feel when he would see his mother's portrait, not sure whether to laugh like a maniac or cry when he would roam around the dark corridors of the Grimmauld Place, where he had lived some of his worst memories, where he was trapped again. 

The sound of footsteps entering the room made him turn back and his breath hitched as his eyes rested on Remus. 

Remus was one of the things keeping Sirius from going insane here. He was the one holding Sirius together these days. Just by Remus being here, Sirius felt a bit better. They were still not back to what they were before, when they were young and reckless and didn't care about anything else rather than their love for each other. 

Because now things were different. They were different. 

Remus wasn't around all the time these days. He had missions and would leave the house for days, sometimes weeks. Those days, there was no one for Sirius here. Those days were the worst. 

"Two weeks," Sirius stated, voice hoarse, "You've been gone for two weeks...And you couldn't even send a letter to let me know that you are alive." 

Remus let out a weary sigh and took off his soaked coat, hair damp from the rain. "We were hiding from the death eaters in a small building. It wasn't possible." 

"How was the mission?" 

Remus shrugged. "It was okay, I guess...I don't really want to talk about that." 

Sirius looked out the window again.

"...How...How have you been?" Remus asked.

Sirius shifted his sharp gaze to Remus. "Oh! I am trapped in hell and I am doing great," he snapped, voice bitter.

Remus flinched and Sirius almost regretted the words. Almost. 

"Sirius-" 

"I know what you will say," Sirius cut him off, voice rising. "That's it's too dangerous outside...That I can die...But I am not really alive here either." 

There was silence between them, broken only by the sound of Remus' shoes as he walked to the bed and sat down. "Sirius, come here." 

Sirius did as told and slumped down next to Remus. 

"We've talked about this before, Sirius," Remus said in a tired voice. 

"I know but I can't help it... Voldemort is gaining power...Harry is in danger! You are in danger! You fight in missions and risk your life and I just sit here...I feel useless, Remus." His voice choked, vision blurry with tears. "...I feel like I don't fit anywhere." 

"What are you saying?" Remus gave him a soft smile, wrapping his arms around Sirius. "You fit right in my arms." 

Sirius couldn't keep it in anymore. He buried his face in Remus shoulder and finally let himself cry, sobbing uncontrollably. He hadn't cried ever since he had left Azkaban, the dementors had taken away too much, leaving him numb. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to cry this hard, feeling like his lungs were collapsing.

Remus held him tightly, not saying anything, just rubbing Sirius' back gently. 

Sirius pulled back after sometime, breathing ragged and eyes sore from crying but he felt considerably lighter. 

Remus wiped Sirius' tears, hands warm on his cold cheeks. "Sirius, I know you hate being here and trust me I don't like it either... Seeing you here kills me and I promise I will talk to Dumbledore about getting you out of here...I will try to convince him... And I know you want to fight, but it's too dangerous for you, Sirius...If the dementors get you again-" he paused, letting out a shuddering breath, "-I can't lose you again…"

There faces were too close, Sirius realized and his heart sped up. It felt like he was back in the past, when he was young and even a slight touch from Remus would make him lose his breath. 

Remus' gaze flickered down to Sirius' lips and then his lips were on Sirius', hands running through Sirius' hair. Sirius' heart was jumping in his chest as his trembling hands came up to Remus' chest, gripping his shirt.

It would still take time before they could go back to what they were, but for now this was enough. 

It wasn't perfect, but it was enough.

'There'll be oceans for us to tread  
There'll be bridges for us to mend  
But I'll stick through it

There'll be mountains for us to climb  
There'll be days when the sun won't shine  
But I'll stick through it'

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all liked that! Kudos and comments are really appreciated! <3 <3   
> Find me on Tumblr under username  
> [ "Of-stars-and-moon"](https://of-stars-and-moon.tumblr.com/)


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